Dear Alysha - Nø. 2

   Hell, Alysha, I’m not sure what is worse - reading and not giving myself time to write, or writing and not giving myself time to read. AAH! What the[BEEP]is the answer? 
   When I’m reading, it’s like I can’t stop. I’ll move from one book to the next without a pause. I can only imagine that this is what a junkie feels like, because when I’m not able to read, I crave it. To the point that when I can’t find anything good to read (like the last [BEEP] week and a half), I get seriously moody. Yet, while I’m reading, I feel this angry [BEEP] money on my back screaming at me to put down the damn book and write. Write something. Write anything. But for the love of chocolate dipped pretzels, write. 
     Is there a solution? 
     Oh, and about that writing thing. . . As you know, I have finished my first draft of Boon. I have to tell you, it was not as satisfying as I imagined it would be. The writer inside me jumped for joy - hell I think there was a brief moment where I considered a cartwheel - but then that logical side of me stepped up and pissed all over my almost parade. I mean, how do you know when the story is done, Alysha? 
     The answer is yes for Boon, at least I feel that way. I know this because when I wrote the[BEEP] ending, those final words of “Finally, the fucking end,” it felt like the Milky Way lifted from my shoulders. It’s amazing how much a story can weigh on a writer. Sometimes, I feel like it is a sickness, not a creative process. 
     Oddly enough, now that I’ve reached this milestone with Boon, I’m bored. I mean, I’ve been researching some science for it, and that’s been fun. I also still make little notes here and there for me to think about and consider when I begin edits. To be honest, I still eat, sleep, and shit the story; now that the foundation (the first draft) is built, it’s different. Does that make sense? 
     Was that how it was for you? 
     Do you think that waiting until the beginning of the year to start the grueling process of editing is too long to wait? I have to be honest, even though I wrote it, and I still remember what I wrote, I’m terrified I’ll hate it. Has that happened to you? I’ve had that happen before. I wrote a story, let it sit, and when I pulled it out to read it, I hated it - so much so, I didn’t even want to edit it. I cringe when I think that could happen again. I read this author’s blog once (years ago, sorry I can’t get you a link) and I remember he said he wrote 3 stories before he actually started liking some of what he wrote. He didn’t publish until his fourth novel. Can you imagine? 
     Sadly, I can. 
     I’m in dire need of your wiseness, Alysha. And don’t you dare cop out and tell me “to suck it up” or some other overused “hard love” advice. 

   Forever your American fan, 

A L Y S H A ' S   R E P L Y 
"That was quite a post you wrote. I too, often struggle with the balance of reading and writing. Sometimes I'll go a month without reading in favour of writing, then I'll focus on reading the next month. It ebbs and flows. I'm in this for the long haul, so I try not to stress about it. As long as you're reading and writing. . ."